


Choices (and the decisions we cannot make)

by katiekat784



Series: Fanfic100 [2]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Community: fanfic100, F/M, and her decision to leave Serenity behind, but I'm not officially signed up for this, into Inara's mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 22:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30011811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiekat784/pseuds/katiekat784
Summary: It used to be simple, her life used to be simple before this… before him. She could separate her body and her mind. She could understand which decisions she made with her head and the ones she makes with her heart. But now, she’s not so sure.Inara decides it’s time to take control of her life again, or at least she’s tries to.
Relationships: Malcolm Reynolds/Inara Serra
Series: Fanfic100 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197962
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Choices (and the decisions we cannot make)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a tiny ficlet because I'm trying to write one story a day. 
> 
> Prompt 086 - Choices

Choices - definition

I) an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities  
II) selected with care  
III) a person or thing chosen

* * *

She knows she needs to leave. She needs to escape this place before it consumes her. She needs to leave before she does something yú bèn de. Something she can’t go back from. It’s the same feelings bubbling to the surface as the time she decided she needed to leave the training house… except it isn’t. Not really. But she tells herself that it is because the lie is a lot easier of a pill to swallow than the truth is. The truth, what even is that anymore? It used to be simple, her life used to be simple before this… before _him_. She could separate her body and her mind. She could understand which decisions she made with her head and the ones she makes with her heart. But now…

She really needs to leave. She needs to get off this ship and far, far away. Before she can’t bring herself to leave. Before she really does become trapped. Because the strength she has is slowly fading. Both in a literal and figurative sense. She only has a few years left and she can’t spend them in this holding pattern with _him_. She refuses to spend them continuing to grasp at something that will always be just out of reach. Because she knows what kind of a person he is. The tortured soul who doesn’t let himself be happy, doesn’t think he deserves it. And she deserves someone who’s not afraid to show her how he feels. But then she’s also being a hypocrite because she knows that she could never give her heart as freely as someone could give theirs.

So here she is, stuck in this holding pattern. And she’s not even certain that she wants to break this cycle. She’s not even certain that she can anymore. And that is the most concerning thing of all. She has let her time in the black – her time with _him_ – change her in ways she didn’t know were possible. And she wonders if it is even possible to go back to her life before. Is it even worth it?

**Author's Note:**

> I adore Inara and love exploring her mind and who she is. Thanks for reading, thoughts are always welcome!


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